The Good Stuff

I keep my niece, Ellie, on the days my sister works.  That typically means two days a week I have her. 

It's so much fun!  Ellie's no stranger to HappyascanB, and she will be two on Thanksgiving Day.  Full of personality, spunk, and love, Ellie has a zest for life that her aunt envies. 

She's also a wee bit mischevious.  Recently she got into my jewelry and came bounding down the hall with bracelets stacked all the way up her arm!  She was holding the necklace in her hand and couldn't wait for me to put it around her neck! 

Once I stopped giggling, I captured a few pictures for memory's sake. 

Oh how I love that precious little girl!  And I'm certainly not the only one who loves our days together.  Molly absolutely lights up when she sees Ellie!  Watching the two of them look at each other and giggle just makes my heart want to explode with love! 

Molly is really digging her exercauser these days.  She looks so big in it to me! 

It's these days, full of hugs, slobbery kisses, dirty diapers, spit ups and snacks that I find myself overwhelmed with pure gratitude that this is the life God's given me.  I often send Tim texts as simple as "thank you for working so hard so I can be home with MM every day!"  It's just better than I ever imagined!  Bless him for working so very hard to provide for our family of three!  I thank God for him always!

This afternoon held one of those precious moments that came out of nowhere but held feelings so special I never want to forget it.  Ellie was napping, and Molly had just woken up from a nap.  While changing Molly's diaper, I accidentally tickled the bottom of her foot.  She giggled a belly giggle that was one of the most precious sounds I've ever heard!  Wondering if it was an accident, I tickled her foot again and got the same precious reaction! 

And then, while on a high from my baby girl's precious little giggles, she proceeded to pass gas in a way that would make anyone in the room blush.  It was unreal! 

As I was laughing about that, she began laughing at me.  My heart absolutely melted, and as I picked her up, I was absolutely overcome with pure joy.  Unreserved gratitude.  Unbelievable love. 

There we stood, my 5-month-old blessing and me, in the middle of her nursery.  For just a moment the world stopped as I held her closely, swayed back and forth and praised my Heavenly Father for giving me the incredible honor of being her mother.  Tears streamed down my face during that amazing moment.  I never want to forget it.  Ever.

And all of this, every single bit of it, is the good stuff.





Feeling their presence. . .

Saturday we went to Lowe’s to look at paint colors for the nursery. In a matter of minutes, we both agreed that Princess Pink was the. Color. It’s the perfect shade of soft pink! Stay tuned for pictures of the pink room, thanks to Tim and my brother-in-law Brian!

While there, we decided to check out their carpet. Y’all, Tim is in MAJOR nesting mode. God love him, he’s got a list a mile long of things he wants to do to the house before the baby gets here! I love it! Because it’s exciting, because it means we’re getting things accomplished, because it’s just so fun!

So, we’re looking at carpet, and I’m completely overwhelmed and don’t have a clue what we’re looking at. Tim asks for help, and this nice man comes to our rescue.

He was immediately drawn to my being pregnant. He noticed it, commenting and striking up a conversation about babies and pregnancies in a heartbeat. He was a self-proclaimed Yankee. He told me all about how “in his day, you didn’t know if you were having a boy or a girl. It was just a baby. Everything was yellow and green, gender neutral. You didn’t know what you were having till ole’ doc said, It’s a ___!”

Meanwhile, Tim interrupts every few minutes to ask a question about carpet.

And then the carpet man and I are back in the saddle with our pregnancy conversation! The whole time I kept thinking how funny it was to me that this random man was so interested in our having a baby. Totally nothing like a typical man. Especially a stranger who’s helping us figure out the ins and outs of carpet.

He starts telling us about moving to Georgia from New York. How different things are down here. And he calls himself by his name, and it all hits me like a ton of bricks.

Steve.

His name was Steve.

My Daddy’s name.

We left ole’ Steve and before I could tell Tim what connection I felt with Steve the Carpet man, we noticed a sporty little red Escort with a personalized license plate, “Pe Pop”.

Again, I felt the presence of two of my favorite men in the entire world. My Granddaddy was affectionately known as Pepop (short for Pepoppie) and he drove a sport little red Escort for a few years before he died in August of ’08.

And so it was, on a random, chilly Saturday at Lowe’s that I was reminded of just how much my Daddy and Pepoppie would love to be around for this pregnancy and Molly’s arrival.

And I thank God for that reminder!

Working Out and Worshiping

Well hello there, long lost bloggy-buds! So very sorry I’ve been MIA. The holidays were just crazy-busy for us, and I let blogging duties slip. Errr, for weeks. And I’m sorry!


And now, I feel like there’s so much to catch up on and blog about that I don’t even know where to start. And while I definitely want to share some Christmas pictures with all of you, today is Tuesday. Which typically means Titus 2 Tuesdays around here.

But today, I don’t have a Titus 2 post. Instead, I want to blog a little about my workout from this morning. It was just really cool, so listen up!

We hit the gym around 6:30 this morning. It’s freezing (for us, at least) here with the temperature this morning around 21 degrees. That’s brrrrrrr. . . .cooollllddd to southern bells like myself! And in true B-fashion when we parked, I said, “1-2-3! GO!” and raced to the front door of the gym. Tim walked in like a normal adult. He just shook his head and said, “I love playing games with you I never signed up for!” We laughed about that because I do that often (which is another reason my sister calls us the gayest couple ever.)

Anywho. . . . we went on and started our own workouts. I need to say here that while Tim is definitely God’s Best for me in sooo many ways, our taste in music is a little very different when it comes to working out. I love me some jammin’ praise music. I have a Run n Worship CD that I’ve loaded into iTunes and my ipod. I love listening to Third Day’s Revelation CD while I exercise. I’ll even listen to a sermon sometimes. I don’t know; it just helps me get my mind off of running, stairmastering, ellipticalling, weight lifting. You get the drift. Right? Tim isn’t a big praise music fan; I mean he loves God, don’t get me wrong. But praise music just isn’t his thing! He is over there listening to the latest rap and gangsta tunes.  It’s quite funny how different our workout playlists are, really!

Ahh, I digress. . .

So, I’m on the elliptical, listening to my Jesus music, and I started what ended up being a really amazing time of prayer, worship, and reflection. In. the. Gym... On. The. Elliptical. It was great! Have you ever prayed to God, thanking him for someone who you can see right then but who has no idea you’re praying for them? Thanking God for them? Tim is still clueless about all this, but while he was doing his own working out, I was over there lifting him in prayer, thanking God for the AMAZING man he’s given to me as my husband. I’m astounded every single day at the incredible marriage God’s blessed us with. It was really fun watching him work out while I was praying for him. And he had no clue.

And then, I ended my workout session on the stairmaster, listening to Mandisa’s Broken Hallelujah. Ah, how I love that song. See, just a few weeks ago*, while on the stairmaster, I heard that song. And I totally felt like God was prompting me to pray for someone who was heartbroken and had their own broken hallelujah. I thought of some dear friends of ours who’d experienced miscarriages and unsuccessful infertility treatments. But something kept telling me, “No, they’re okay. It’s not them.” Later that day, I read a very heart-wrenching blog by Holly, and I knew immediately she was who I’d prayed for on the stairmaster that morning. And if you read her blog, you know she sings a wonderful, beautiful broken hallelujah to our King every day of her life.

So, today, I again spent that time asking God to always fill me with hallelujahs, with true thankfulness and honor to Him, regardless of my situation. All while exercising. It was just such a great way to start what’s been a great day!

Of course, hearing the pitter-patter of Baby S’s heartbeat helped the day, too!

Tell me; what random, out-of-the-ordinary times do you find yourself having the best conversations with God? I’d love to hear about it!

*Another interesting piece of that morning on the stairmaster: that evening, I got a phone call from our friends telling us they’re pregnant! And everything so far was looking good. Still is! Praising God for that every single day!

Titus 2 Tuesday: Eleanor Grace

 am having Mcklinky issues ~ again!?!?! I apologize that the link is unavailable until mid day.  I can't get into MckLinky to edit it at the moment either.  Sorry, y'all!

"You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." Titus 2:1 - 5, NIV

Today, I'm honoring the youngest little lady yet.  Eleanor Grace is my niece, as any of you who've been following my blog for a while know.  Ellie is 11 months old, and she has absolutely stolen my heart.  Yesterday, I honored my sister on her birthday, and Ellie is her daughter.

Ellie has taught me so much about God's love for us.  I never knew the feeling of truly loving a child so much that you think your heart might burst until Ellie was born.  Really, I loved her that much before she was born.  The promises God gives us that He knits us in our mother's belly and knows every detail about us, including the hairs on our heads came alive in amazing ways when Ellie Grace entered my life. I've mentioned before that my sister allowed me to be in the delivery room when Ellie was born.  Wow, what a miracle to experience!  I was in utter awe at the site of seeing a life be brought into this world, and really, all I could think was My God truly is Good. 

Ellie's big smile and sweet laugh reminds me time and time again to enjoy life.  Watching her little mind grow and develop has taught me to enjoy the little things in life.  Her smile is infectious, and her giggles light up our family!

We recently took Ellie to the pumpkin patch for some picture fun!

"Taste and see that the Lord is good;

blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him." ~ Psalm 34:8

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.” ~ Walt Streightiff

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful." ~ Proverbs 15:13

Ellie Grace, your crazy Aunt B loves you beyond measure!  You are a beautiful little girl, and I pray God showers you with His favor and blessing all the days of your life! 

Women of Faith '09: Mandisa

My cousin invited me to join her small group for the Women of Faith conference this past weekend in Atlanta. And boy, oh boy, am I glad I went. So many things from the days absolutely touched me to my core. I'm still processing much of it, and I imagine I will write about different parts to come.

Today, though, I am compelled to share this incredible song with you. Mandisa performed, and she was just AWESOME! What a beautiful woman of God she is! As she performed this song, I sat and soaked every single word in. As tears streamed down my face, I thought of so many of my friends. So many of you. There are so many different struggles I know my friends are going through. There are so many more that I don't know about. Regardless, He is With You.

In Memory of Pepoppie

Missing My Pepop

It’s only been a year today
Some days it seems a lifetime away
But then, I’ll swear just yesterday
I talked to you about my day

We miss you more than you can know
Pepop, you helped our lives to glow
With love and laughter year after year
And now we miss you with every shed tear.

Heaven’s much sweeter with you up there
We continue to live life, just wishing you could share
The laughter and love of Ellie Grace
The sweet times of family in one place.

Our hearts will always ache for you
While we live on earth, continuing to do
The living and loving you taught us to know
As you helped us all to learn and grow.

I love you more than words can say
So know I’ll always remember you this way,
With a smile and a hand, as we danced away
To a song whose words hold so true today. . .

Some day, when I'm awfully low,

When the world is cold,

I will feel a glow just thinking of you...

And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm

And your cheeks so soft,

There is nothing for me but to love you,

And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,

Tearing my fear apart...

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,

It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.

Keep that breathless charm.

Won't you please arrange it ?

'Cause I love you ...

Just the way you look tonight.

Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm, Just the way you look to-night.

Not Me Monday

Today I’m going to participate in Not Me Monday. Well, just because I want to! Check out MckMama’s blog for more Not Me Monday happenings. The best one is very possibly The Goodwin Family’s . All I can say is EEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!

So here goes my first shot at Not Me Monday. . .

I did not successfully pull off a small, intimate surprise dinner for my best friend Friday night at Grits Café. And we did not sip on yummy peach martinis while catching up on everyone’s busy lives. We did not enjoy great shrimp and grits, stuffed chicken, steak, and a delicious birthday dessert!

I did not agree to keep my sister’s wild, seriously hyper maltese this weekend. Saturday, I did not take said hyper dog along with our two dogs to the dog park for some true doggie fun with other dogs, a big creek, and lots of toys. When the dogs were pooped out, I did not load up and get all three dogs home and bathed as quickly as possible.

Tim was not cutting the grass, weeding and edging, and pressure washing the house all while I was frolicking with the dogs.

I did not clean our house top to bottom Saturday afternoon. And Tim did not shampoo the carpets while I mopped.

I did not create a pretty dang yummy chicken dinner, either!

Sunday we did not leave our house way too early to pick up my mom and be in Atlanta for my cousin’s daughter’s baptism. We also did not get to watch my cousin’s husband baptize his precious girl! And it was not touching. Nope. Not at all.

We did not enjoy some Holy Smokes barbeque (Pretty fitting, don't ya think?) with family and friends, and we did not make time for a trip to the Mall of Georgia. I’m so glad, too, because I did not find the most precious dress for Tim’s brother’s wedding!

After this busy weekend, we were not tired at all and did not sleep like babies last night!

I did not spend my Monday lunch break visiting a friend who just had a precious baby boy, and it did not in any way give me a little more baby fever. . . . And that thought did not just send the hubby into a tail spin!

Here’s to my First Not Me Monday! Fun Stuff!

Weekend of Fun & God's Goodness

I've got so much on my mind on this Sunday night. It's been a great weekend, filled with family and love. Tim's out of town visiting a friend, so I spent the weekend with my mom, my sister, my brother in law, and of course, Ellie!

While it was such a great weekend, I have a bit of a heavy heart tonight. . . . not sure if I can even put much of it into words, really. I'm listening to Chris Thomlin's song, "Unfailing Love" right now. It's on this blog; precious little April Rose was born this afternoon, and I'm praying for her and her parents right this minute. I'm so moved by God's hand in the very midst of such heartache and pain. The fact that April Rose's mom has this song playing on her blog in the middle of this turmoil is just beautiful to me. Then, I read Christina's amazing post; WOW. I don't know what else to really say. A God thing? You bet!!

Also, I miss the ever-lovin' heck out of my husband. It's funny how you get so used to having your best friend right there with you. We have one of those relationships where we're together pretty much every minute that we're not working. We just crave quality time together, and we thrive on it. While I've enjoyed being with my family this weekend, I miss Tim terribly. He's visiting a friend who needs him right now; but I still miss my husband! And to think that I miss him this much after only 18 months of marriage. I hope it only intensifies in the months and years to come! I love that man so much I think my heart could burst!!

Go check out April Rose's blog, and be sure to see her beautiful picture! Pray for them, won't you? Be sure to read Christina's amazing post, too. God is Good!

Happy Mother's Day

In honor of Mother's Day on Sunday, I am recycling this post from February about my momma. Hope you enjoy it ~ for the first time or again!

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there. I'm amazed at the incredible, Christian mothers I've met through this blog world. And I'm thanking God for you this year, too. I learn so much every single day from so many mothers. Oftentimes, you teach me about life, God's love, and any other life lesson. The sweetest part to me is how you all teach me about being a mother without even realizing you're doing it! I love that!

Hope you enjoy this post. . . .


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yesterday was my mother’s birthday. We had a great dinner last night at Jenn and Brian’s with Gma there as well. Of course, Ellie was still the center of attention for all of us! Here’s a list of various things: memories I have, things I love about my mother, good times gone by. . . Momma, this is for you.
1. She’s my momma. That’s why I love her!
2. She gave me life.
3. She always made the best roast ever
4. Growing up in Gordon, we spent hours upon hours riding from Macon to Gordon, Milledgeville to Gordon. When I was little, momma would sing with us. I can’t count the times we sang “This Little Light of Mine”, “Jesus Loves Me”, “Popcorn Poppin’ on the Apricot Tree” or any other song she could think of.
5. I remember loving to watch her get dressed up for a date night with my Dad. I loved going into their bedroom after they’d left just to get a whiff of momma’s perfume she’d sprayed minutes before. Perfume never has smelled as good as it does on my momma.
6. The ultimate may / can teacher. “I don’t know, can you?”
7. Her love for the beach.
8. Even in the very minute of heartache beyond belief, she never wavered from the strong mother I knew she was
9. She’s a friend who’ll always be honest with me and tell me exactly what she thinks. Whether I want to hear it or not.
10. Her home always has smelled like you could “eat the walls” like one of Jenn’s high school friend once said.
11. Nights of sitting on our back porch on Senora Place, us three girls, crying, hurting, and comforting each other months after Daddy died.
12. My 17th Birthday party where just a few friends turned into waaaay too many, including a few cops!?!?!
13. King & Prince visits through the years
14. Crabdaddy’s and the best waitress ever
15. Lovin’ me through my ugly years when she didn’t like me!
16. The many formal dresses we shopped for, tried on, and bought through the years of proms, Valentine’s Dances, Homecomings, and the like!
17. Corky the Cat and his many siblings. . . alive and dead.
18. Christmas Sugar Cookies that the Piggly Wiggly always had that I loved!
19. Canning veggies Daddy grew in the Griffin’s garden
20. Her strong grip on my hand walking into the church for Daddy’s funeral
21. Surprising me at Jayne’s with my new car for my high school graduation!
22. Senior Cruise
23. Spring Break trips
24. Momma’s admiration and love for her family that I always admired.
25. Island Townhouses, C9
26. The no good horrible very bad terrible Surprise Party
27. The fact that we can now laugh about that Surprise Party
28. My K5 teacher had a baby while I was in her class and momma was the sub. I would immediately forget who my mother was every day we walked into the class. I was scared of her as a teacher, I think!
29. Quebec City and Toronto
30. Hotel del Coronado
31. I was always amazed as a child at how she could harmonize any hymn in church
32. Her stories of her life growing up. I always loved to hear her say, “When I was a little girl. . .” I knew it was going to be a good story!
33. Calling out daddy for his cousin Maurice
34. Pulling me through the lowest times of my life
35. Always assuring me God did in fact have someone out there for me, even when I didn’t believe it.
36. Watching her in her teacher role.
37. Jenn’s Graduation Party!
38. Being there when “my” branch opened downtown
39. Being the happiest mom of the bride ever!
40. Watching her be Lovie
41. Her “surprise” and excitement each Christmas and Easter morning when we saw when Santa or the Easter Bunny left!
42. The fact that she honestly never knew that Jenn and I always snuck into the room before they were up to see what Santa left us!
43. Our many trips and times with the Kononens
44. Her new Friday night tradition with Ellie
45. “Jesus love the little Ellies. All the Ellies of the world. . ."
46. Her life long friend LaDon and how LaDon and Harry are my second parents
47. All the Georgia games we’ve been to in our lives!
48. Her love for junkin’
49. Her plants, flowers, and such she always has growing
50. “Child of Mine”
51. Heartbreak and triumph we’ve all 3 known
52. How protective she still is of me and Jenn
53. The comforting fact that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, my momma will always be there for me. Always.

Happy Mother's Day, Momma! I love you with all my heart!

Total Forgiveness

This is likely to be a pretty deep post – at least for me. It’s coming after days of thinking and thinking, praying and praying, talking with others and researching. I’ll begin, well, at the beginning. Here’s the conversation that started it all. . .

Monday AM, The office
Coworker (we’ll call her Nancy) was not able to attend a meeting I’d scheduled with a visiting bank because she had to attend a funeral. I stopped by her office after the meeting to make sure she was okay. Here’s the basic run-down of what went down:
Me: “Hey, I am sorry you had to attend a funeral.”
Nancy: “Yes. It was [John Smith]. Do you know him? He committed suicide.”
Me: “Oh, how heartbreaking. I am so sorry to hear that.”
Nancy: “The service was really nice. Father [Joe] was really straight forward and honest.”
Sidebar – Nancy is Catholic
Nancy: “My daughter thought Father [Joe] was too harsh, but I told her that suicide is a mortal sin. We are to pray that God will show mercy on John and let him into Heaven.”

I sort of just ended the conversation and left. Honestly I wasn’t all wound up over her statements at first. Rather, it just sort of built over the course of the week. And I’m sooooo not confrontational. At all. I have a hard time voicing my disagreements anytime I do disagree with anyone about anything. But what Nancy said I just don’t agree with. I have talked to a few of you about it since then, and it’s continued to stir my heart. Add to that the emotional attachment I have of suicide, plus my firm belief that my God saves me from ALL sin, and you get one wound up B (lucky you!).

I’ve done a little research since Monday, and I have found that in the Catholic realm, mortal sin can be defined as “a sin, such as murder or blasphemy, that is so heinous it deprives the soul of sanctifying grace and causes damnation if unpardoned at the time of death.”

Yet, I am only able to find in the Bible once where Jesus identifies an unpardonable sin – blasphemy. Mark 3:28 – 29 says ““I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them.” Sin is sin, and it separates us from God. His eternal gift of life through the sacrificing of His Son is what saves those of us who believe.

That’s where the beauty lies for me. My Dad was saved. He was a Christ follower, and I know that with every part of my being. And if “all the sins of men will be forgiven them”, that means my Daddy was forgiven, too.

I’ve also been pointed to James 2:10: “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” That, to me, means a sin is a sin is a sin. I’m just as guilty of breaking the whole law as the next guy.

Apart from Christ, we are nothing. But Salvation is greater than all our sins. God’s grace is greater than all our sins. Knowing that my Daddy was a believer, I continue to stand firm in my belief that he is in Heaven, celebrating and worshiping like we can only imagine. All because of God’s amazing grace.

Please know I’m not out to offend anyone with my thoughts. I’m definitely stepping out of my comfort zone by posting such a deep, emotional thing. This is very near and dear to my heart for many reasons. I honestly post this for my own benefit; it's therapeutic for me to write. And I want to know I can come back to this post anytime I need to in the future. I always welcome your comments and thoughts!