This is likely to be a pretty deep post – at least for me. It’s coming after days of thinking and thinking, praying and praying, talking with others and researching. I’ll begin, well, at the beginning. Here’s the conversation that started it all. . .
Monday AM, The office
Coworker (we’ll call her Nancy) was not able to attend a meeting I’d scheduled with a visiting bank because she had to attend a funeral. I stopped by her office after the meeting to make sure she was okay. Here’s the basic run-down of what went down:
Me: “Hey, I am sorry you had to attend a funeral.”
Nancy: “Yes. It was [John Smith]. Do you know him? He committed suicide.”
Me: “Oh, how heartbreaking. I am so sorry to hear that.”
Nancy: “The service was really nice. Father [Joe] was really straight forward and honest.”
Sidebar – Nancy is Catholic
Nancy: “My daughter thought Father [Joe] was too harsh, but I told her that suicide is a mortal sin. We are to pray that God will show mercy on John and let him into Heaven.”
I sort of just ended the conversation and left. Honestly I wasn’t all wound up over her statements at first. Rather, it just sort of built over the course of the week. And I’m sooooo not confrontational. At all. I have a hard time voicing my disagreements anytime I do disagree with anyone about anything. But what Nancy said I just don’t agree with. I have talked to a few of you about it since then, and it’s continued to stir my heart. Add to that the emotional attachment I have of suicide, plus my firm belief that my God saves me from ALL sin, and you get one wound up B (lucky you!).
I’ve done a little research since Monday, and I have found that in the Catholic realm, mortal sin can be defined as “a sin, such as murder or blasphemy, that is so heinous it deprives the soul of sanctifying grace and causes damnation if unpardoned at the time of death.”
Yet, I am only able to find in the Bible once where Jesus identifies an unpardonable sin – blasphemy. Mark 3:28 – 29 says ““I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them.” Sin is sin, and it separates us from God. His eternal gift of life through the sacrificing of His Son is what saves those of us who believe.
That’s where the beauty lies for me. My Dad was saved. He was a Christ follower, and I know that with every part of my being. And if “all the sins of men will be forgiven them”, that means my Daddy was forgiven, too.
I’ve also been pointed to James 2:10: “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” That, to me, means a sin is a sin is a sin. I’m just as guilty of breaking the whole law as the next guy.
Apart from Christ, we are nothing. But Salvation is greater than all our sins. God’s grace is greater than all our sins. Knowing that my Daddy was a believer, I continue to stand firm in my belief that he is in Heaven, celebrating and worshiping like we can only imagine. All because of God’s amazing grace.
Please know I’m not out to offend anyone with my thoughts. I’m definitely stepping out of my comfort zone by posting such a deep, emotional thing. This is very near and dear to my heart for many reasons. I honestly post this for my own benefit; it's therapeutic for me to write. And I want to know I can come back to this post anytime I need to in the future. I always welcome your comments and thoughts!
17 comments:
Thanks for sharing something so close to your heart. It's always risky to do that, especially in a public forum like this. I'm glad you can rest assure that your dad was saved and you are grounded in the truth of the Word that no sin can separate us from the love of the Father.
I'm glad you stepped out of your comfort zone today. What you shared and wrote was beautiful.
B- I am all for honesty- especially in this forum. We all have our issues and our things we care about..you just never know how this one post may touch someone. Continue to bring it!
On your post, I completely agree with you. I know that when we, as Christ-followers get to heaven, God makes us whole- perfect. He perfects us, our relationships, and whatever else was wrong with us or whatever we did wrong on this earth. Your dad was absolutely a Christ-follower. And I believe he is celebrating with our Savior right this minute. We are not to judge-we answer to a new covenant, not one of laws but one of GRACE...and praise Him for that!
Dear B,
God's GRACE is sufficient for all believers in ALL circumstances!!! We claim that promise and know it to be true.
If "Nancy" knows you well enough and is your friend, I really do not understand her comments about suicide AT ALL!!!
Wonderful post... keep at it, girl child of mine!
I love you,
MOM
I agree with you 100 percent. Have you ever seen the documentary "A Fierce Goodbye"? There are several clergy from different denominations on that DVD who address that myth about suicide.
The way I have always interpreted that statement in the Bible about the unpardonable sin is that it must be referring to the rejection of salvation -the message of the Holy Spirit that works in our hearts. If you don't receive forgiveness, then you aren't forgiven. Don't know if that's how others see it, but that's my opinion.I'm so thankful for God's grace and forgiveness!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I agree with you. I've lost two friends to suicide, and I live in the belief that I WILL see them one day again, with Jesus. I don't believe He turned his back on them because of the final choice of their earthly lives.
B, you know that I love you and I love your blog. You are authentic and I love that you open yourself up to your friends & readers. I do not know anything about aything except that God is so good. Jesus came to save us. We need Him. God will take the horrible in life and turn it to the good. I love that about Him. He is faithful and his mercy endures forever. Love & blessings to you.
B, You are so great to open your heart like this. If we think of all the countless verses, songs of new and old, there is a recurring theme in so many that remind us his grace is enough, grace that is greater than ALL our sin, saves the wretch like me, grace that exceeds our sin and guilt. That same grace will lead us HOME. I have NO DOUBTS your 'Daddy' is home with our heavenly father. Thanks for sharing your story today, you've touched many! Love you!
I have read this blog, and all the comments thusfar and the only thought that keeps coming to my mind is but one thought:
~ HE IS A JUST JUDGE ~
The LORD is the only one that truly knows the depth of our heart, the intents of our heart, the condition of our heart ...God is so full of Mercy and Grace how dare we for one moment judge the death of another by our carnality.
Joyce Meyer states it, "stinking thinking"....
I have been taught if one commits suicide then "hell bound"...but as the LORD has taught me so much since those earlier days, I am realizing I can in no way judge man living or even in his death....look at the thief on the cross....Death was at hand but he entered paradise...yes he did not take his own life but yet still it gives me hope.....
God is so gracious and the soul of those that has and will commit suicide by whatever force that brought them to end their life ...are precious in his sight ...I do not believe you can pray one out of hell .... but I can pray God have mercy and I do.
AMEN .... I enjoyed this post
First, *BIG HUGS*
What a treasure your mom's words above are for you.
I stand in agreement with all that you have said in your post. My heart aches for those who have no hope. Do not allow your co-workers lack of hope to discourage you. Don't allow satan that foothold in your mind. Stand on TRUTH and command satan to get behind you on this. I am praying for you sweet sister.
Love & prayers!
By the way...my word verification is "grater" ...God is greater!
As individuals, we have our own perspectives of the world (and beyond). I think you've really thought a lot about your perspective over the years. And it's one that makes sense to you. I hope you find a lot of peace with that.
I am still close to the beginning of my journey with my Heavenly Father, but I know there is a scripture that says God is closest to the broken-hearted and from experience, contemplating suicide is the most broken-hearted one can be. I believe God was right there with your Daddy holding him in His arms that day, trying to comfort him. God gives us each free will as well, but I know through the stripes of Jesus, we are forgiven for all the mistakes we make here on earth. I know your Daddy is in Heaven right now and so proud of you and your words for him. God Bless.
This was a great blog. You know I believe the same as you and I think you did a great job of putting it all into words. I know we will see your Daddy again and it is only by His amazing grace that we ALL have an eternal home. Love you!
so proud of you for blogging about this B! You are so right! I love you sisser!
I share your belief. I had a similar conversation with a gentleman from work several years ago. I had a friend who was saved and then committed suicide. He plain out told me, "you know she's in hell, right?" I was overwhelmed with anguish and sadness because then, I did not know the truth. Now I do. And as the scripture goes, "...and the truth shall set you free." I am so blessed to know now that I will see her again some day. Thank you for posting this. I am inspired by your willingness to share your heart. Blessings to you and in your walk with Jesus. <3
Lovely post B. Thanks for sharing this.
Big hugs comin' my way too...you keep standing on the Rock girl!
I just found your blog and was reading some of your post and I wanted to comment here, even though I'm a little late.
I, too, agree with what you have learned. The only unpardonable sin is rejection of Christ. That's the only one.
I was a member of a small church in a small West Texas town and the pastor committed suicide. I was very confused by this. I didn't know him well personally but he preached so strongly that he brought me and my whole family to christ.
As soon as I heard the news I went to the music minister's classroom and he made the comment "we knew where he was." I was at the beginning of my learning walk with Christ, (I was a saved but not schooled, if that makes any sense) so I was in the belief that you couldn't go to heaven. So I asked him, "where is he?" And he said "Heaven. God knows all our pains, our illnesses, He counts all our tears and knows why we cried them, He even knows the story behind the story that we have no way of knowing. Johnny's in heaven, God used him mightily, he was an instrument of God's message, and he is in heaven. He was sick, God doesn't condemn us for our illnesses."
Well it made sense to me and still does. To be able to wrap your mind around the fullness of God's grace takes Him working in us, giving us power through His Spirit in our inner being, as Paul writes in Ephesians, to know the length and width and height and depth of the love of Christ, to know this love that surpasses knowledge and to be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Eph. 3:17-19 It says in my NIV to grasp. That's some good stuff right there I can't really get my mind around the the measure of all fullness of God. That's big, I think.
Great post, and out of anyones's comfort zone to write so honestly, I loved it and I thank you for it.
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