Life Goes On

Seventeen years ago today, a hard truth about life hit me square in the face.

Life goes on.

We'd buried my Daddy the day before.  On a cool, fall morning, we celebrated his life, mourned his untimely death and held onto each other like never before.

I remember waking that Thursday morning knowing my friends were going to school like normal, watching the county school bus make its way past our house like it always did, yet looking around at my mom, my sister and myself and wondering, "how in the world?"

Goodness.  We didn't know what had hit us. But what I did know was life as I'd always known it was no longer. And as cruel as it seemed, life was going on all around us.

The hours seemed to pass as slowly as molasses.  Days later, we mustered up everything inside of ourselves to celebrate my sister's 12th birthday.  Weeks later, I turned 15.  I remember my best friends sitting in the living room with me the night of my birthday.  I think it was the first time I'd laughed since my Daddy died.  And I felt so guilty for laughing.  For smiling.  For enjoying life.

And I realized, life goes on.

Months passed and we moved.  I remember pulling out of the driveway of our home, the home we lived in with my Daddy, and sobbing.  Crying my eyes out, knowing this move was necessary for our family.  Things would be different, new, hopefully easier for all of us in a new home. 

Yes, life goes on.

Years went by, and as we learned to live a new normal again as a family of three, we found happiness and love even in the midst of the unbearable grief and heartache.  Jenn and I had proms, Homecomings, Sweet 16 Birthdays.  Life went on.

And, I know today, 17 years later, that life goes on. And, better than that?  It becomes beautiful again.  Yes, truly "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11).  That is what I've celebrated this week.  God's provision is remarkable.  His love is unconditional.  His attention to detail is unbelieavable.  And He does make ALL things beautiful.

I see it in this precious little girl's face....

And while I would give so much to have my Daddy here, for him to see his grandchildren, to meet his sons-in-law, to see my sister and I today, I am so very thankful for the lessons I've learned since my Daddy's death as life has gone on. 

Most of all, I'm praising my Heavenly Father now for making ALL things beautiful, in His time.



Heartaches and God's Work in Reversing Them

Tomorrow is Friday, October 16, 2009. And I know where I was 15 years ago tomorrow. I know that I sat in church with my best friends while my Dad prayed a prayer that was heartfelt and true ~ way more than I knew at that time. My family had lasagna for lunch; it was left over from the night before when we ate with my grandparents.

Looking back, though, my Daddy picked at his lunch. Strange because he was eating his momma’s lasagna and he loved her cooking.


After lunch, my mom planned to go to Milledgeville (the nearest town) to run some errands. Being 14, I wanted to do my own thing, which I’m sure included yapping on the phone, running the neighborhood with my friends, or anything typical 14 year olds do.


My Dad, though, was quite adamant that I go to Milledgeville with my mom and sister. “You need to spend some time with your mother, Bethany.” I still hear him say that over and over in my head.


You know, they say hindsight is 20/20. We see everything clearly when we look back on it and know the outcome. So it’s easy for me to say Daddy was subdued at lunch. I didn’t think much of it at the time, though. And then, there were some of Daddy’s humor sprinkled in: I chased him down the driveway as he backed out to run an errand himself. I wanted him to take a roll of film to the store to have it developed. As I reached the truck, Daddy’d gun it for a second and leave me standing there laughing. I’d chase him ten feet down the driveway, and he’d roll down the window this time. He was actually gonna let me give him that roll of film. . . . Nope. He gunned it again and farther down the drive he went. I remember laughing at how silly my Daddy was. He was laughing, too.


Daddy took that roll of film to the store for me. But he never did tell me so. That was the last time I ever spoke to my Daddy. We three girls (Momma, Jenn and me) went on to Milledgeville and ran our errands.


Later, around 5 that afternoon, I guess, I was getting ready for church. Youth Choir to be exact. The next chain of events happened so quickly I don’t even know that I can – 15 years later, even – put them into words. The phone rang. We raced down the stairs. The front door flew open. The sheriff pulled into our drive way.


And the sheriff was in tears. I knew immediately something horrible had happened.


Minutes after his three girls left, my Daddy made his way across the street, through some woods, past an open field, and to the edge of a pond. There, he shot himself. Ending his life in an instant.


Did he think of us? Did he fathom the thought of leaving us forever? Did he realize his worries were temporary?


I don’t think so.


The minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months that passed were completely full of heartache and pain. Agony and grief. Raw and real.  My Daddy's prayer that morning in church, I was later reminded, included my Daddy asking God to be with us, comfort us as we faced things in our lives we might  not understand.  How prophetic.  How true that we needed our Father.


Fast forward to today, 15 whole years later. Man alive does it still hurt. I miss Daddy still and cry now for different reasons: Tim never met my Daddy. As I’ve fallen in love with my husband more and more everyday, I’ve cried over the fact that my Momma doesn’t have my Daddy to grow old with. Ellie will have no idea what her Granddaddy was like, and he would've been a fun one for sure. Daddy was a banker, too; how many times over the last 8 years of my career have I wanted to bend his ear about something in my job? I’ve officially lived as long without my Daddy as I did with him. And really? I’ve just begun living.


With all this heartache and pain, though, I’m celebrating something today. Something beautiful and true. See, I’m in an incredible Bible Study where we’re wrapping up studying Esther. One thing our teacher’s really challenged us with is reversals. How has something terrible turned to be used for God’s glory?


This is my reversal. God used my father’s death to teach me so many things about Himself. Because of my Daddy’s suicide, I know that my Heavenly Father’s love for me is perfect, without flaw, and never fails; this is something no human on earth can ever provide for me. I know the feeling of “crawling” into my Abba Father’s lap for a good long time. It was there, in His Lap that my heart was pieced back together again. And I’d like to think it was pieced back together again with much more compassion, empathy, and love. I know I pray that all the time. I also know, though, that Satan is always at work, attacking us when we’re hurting as my Daddy was. But I know that my thought closet must be completely rooted in the truth of the Scripture. No lies are good. I know that regardless of what comes my way on this earth, that my Heavenly Father is carrying me through.  Because of this heartache, I know Psalm 40:2 - 3 to be true:

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord."

And for that, I am eternally grateful.

Incredible Video

A friend just posted this video on her facebook page.  It's Awesome. 




 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

Wow!

The Beauty of Waiting

Do you ever read someone else's post and think, "when in the world did she crawl up in my brain and get those thoughts outta there?"  I mean, it's just like they said exactly what you think?  BigMama's post this morning is exactly that. 

It's not that I've really been thinking a lot about this lately, but when I read her post, I was agreeing and shaking my head and saying, "me, too!" to so many things!  Like when she talks about her early twenties and how she was a "hot mess".  .  . me too.  And when she talks of finding those guys who look so good on paper but it's just not "there", it's okay to let them go.  Yes. It. Is.

How do I know?

After messy relationships and emotional break ups, I was turning 25 single. Totally single.  But it was also that birthday that began a relationship that on paper seemed really good.  He had a great job.  He was friends with lots of my friends.  He was handsome. He was fun.

But he was also mean.  He could be a big ole' jerk.  And he never went to church with me, much less prayed with me.

So, almost a year later, I got ballsy enough to walk away.  To be alone again.  And to wait on God.  While just about all of my friends were head over heels in love with their hubbies or fiances, I was again alone.  And waiting.

And would you believe what God had in store for me?  Yeah, you know the end of this story. . . .  a few months later, I met Tim in a Bible Study group that I'd avoided going to for months.  I kept saying I didn't want to go to a singles' Bible Study because it would surely be a meat market.  Not for me.

God's definitely got a sense of humor!  Because it was that first night at Bible Study that I met Tim.  And it began a beautiful friendship based on God.  And God's best for me continues to amaze me day after day.

BooMama says it best when she says, "all I can do is keep my eyes on the One who knows everything in my heart and trust that He knows what's ultimately the best for me.  He hasn't let me down yet."

And, just as BooMama does, I'm closing with this verse.  You single ladies out there, CLAIM IT!!!!

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him."  ~ 1 Corinthians 2:9

What are you waiting on?  Go over and read her amazing post NOW!!!

Titus 2 Tuesday: Women of Faith '09 ~ Patsy Clairmont

Gettin' crazy over here, I am! Yep, combining a Titus 2 Tuesday with my recount of Women of Faith! If you'd like to join in on Titus 2 Tuesday, be sure to jump on over to Shanda's blog for details.

Friday night, after a pretty funny performance by Anita Renfroe (a whole 'nother Titus 2 Lady), this petite little lady bounced up on stage and absolutely touched my heart. Patsy Clairmont is one of the cutest little ladies I've ever seen. And most profound. Patsy's latest book is entitled Catching Fireflies, and in this book, she talks about all different kinds of light. But my favorite ~ and the light she spoke about Friday night ~ is the firefly. Like Patsy, I also have cherished memories of spending summer evenings in my Gma and Gpa's big back yard chasing these tiny, amazing creatures whose backsides light up! Now, you must understand that Gma and Gpa's house was only 30 miles from my house. But, I never did seem to see these "lightning bugs" in my yard. So, I always thought of them as Macon bugs.

Back to Patsy. Patsy spoke about the people in her life who have shone the light of their Savior in her heart and life. She spoke very openly about her dear friend who passed away from cancer, and the light she was to Patsy even in the bitter end. I couldn't help but think of my dear friend Amy. Or my Aunt Nancy. Both women lit my life with their firefly glow until the day they died. Then, it seemed to only glow brighter!

Patsy helped me to take a look in my life and recognize my fireflies. Who are those women (and men) whose Light has taught me a lesson? whose light has brightened my days? whose light has loved me? So, this week, I'm sending many of my fireflies a small thank you for being the light of Christ in my life. And I'm thanking God for them and for you!

Who are your fireflies?

Pondering God's Amazing Ways of Being in the Details

I’ve been struggling lately. Those close to me know it all too well. I’ve whined. I’ve cried. I’ve pouted. I’ve licked my wounds and cried some more. And I can say without hesitation “lesson learned”.

Still, though, I could not seem to get myself out of that pit. On top of that, we have had one more busy week. Dinner to this couple, dinner with another couple, volunteer night at Sav a Life. The list goes on and on. And sometimes, when I’m non-stop like this and I’m a little down, it just intensifies. Now, not only do I cry because I’m sad. I cry because I’m sad and tired and worn slap out.

And with four weeks of Me Myself & Lies under my belt – and in my heart! – I am finding myself more attune to what’s in my thought closet. As my true-blue bud says, get that junk that’s taking up rent free space in your thought closet OUT!!!

So, last night, despite being so tired, I made time for studying more of Me Myself & Lies. Thank you, Good Lord Above, Thank You! God is definitely in the details, y’all! Last night, I studied Day 4 of week 5: Who is the Center of Your Thought Closet?

Guess what? I realized while I’ve been over here sulking, crying, and focusing on my hurt heart, I’ve kept ugly, sin-filled ole’ ME at the center of my thought closet. The author, Jennifer Rothschild, gives three distinct steps to follow to make God the center. They include things like speaking “YOU” statements about God rather than speaking about me, me, me. I also must be conscious of decreasing me and increasing God in my thoughts. And, get in the Word and stay there! Perhaps my favorite part of all is when Jennifer says, “Are you the center of your thought closet? It’s lonely in there! Make room for God.”

My, my how lonely it is.

So, I closed my book and my Bible, snuggled up in bed and asked God to increase his space in my thought closet. And today, as I’ve focused more on the fact that God created me (Isaiah 43:1), that I’m precious in His sight (Isaiah 43:4), that His love is everlasting (Jeremiah 31:3), and that He accepts me (Romans 15:7)- all of these among many other promises of God – I’ve been much more at ease in my heart. And it’s been a day where I’ve found myself praising God for who He is, for how much He loves us, and for the amazing fact that this detail? Is just one of millions He’s in the middle of right now.

Learning Through Suffering

Wow, it’s been a week. It always does seem like coming back from vacation kind of kicks you in the gut, leaving your breathless. I sometimes wonder if the vacation was worth it. Believe me, though, the vacation we had? Well worth it!

I learned a valuable life lesson this week, and I’m currently praying that God will not let me forget it, that He’ll guide me to grow from it, and help me to move on. Friendships were damaged, hearts were broken, tears were shed. It was awful.

These last few days, I’ve found myself really thinking about the entire situation, and how I can learn from it. Wouldn’t you know my daily devotional in my inbox this morning was on learning from suffering?

Thanks, God!

It’s so good, I wanted to share it. While I wouldn’t ever wish suffering on anyone, it’s a fact of life, and as Hebrews 12 tells us, “the Lord disciplines those he loves”.

Difficult Lessons Learned Through Suffering from the messages of Adrian Rogers

BIBLE MEDITATION:Hebrews 11:21 - "By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed both the sons of Joseph; and worshipped, leaning upon the top of his staff."

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:Jacob became a wounded worshipper because God did not withhold the rod of correction. The wounded in life are those who have learned difficult lessons through suffering. Do not resist the Shepherd’s rod of correction. Is the wounding painful? Indeed. Does it seem that you will not be able to bear it? Most certainly. Then, why would He subject you to such pain? Because you have a Father who loves you so much that He is willing to hurt you to heal you. What you need to focus on is not your pain, but your Savior. God didn’t save you to take you to heaven. That’s a fringe benefit. God saved you to make you holy – as He is holy.

ACTION POINT:Read Hebrews 12:1-13. What application can you make from this passage for your life today?

Hebrews 12:1 - 13 says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed."

I’m also reminded of this song that was popular two years ago. I cried every time I heard it that summer; it reminded me of my Aunt Nancy, who you’ll hear more about next week.

“Bring the Rain" ~ Mercy Me

I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

Holy, holy, holyHoly, holy, holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

Is the Lord God Almighty

And so it is, during these difficult times, that we must cling to our Father, remembering that He loves us and wants to refine us to be more like Him. In which case I say, Jesus bring the rain.

Thankful Monday

So it’s not necessarily a catchy title, but it’s Monday and I’m thankful, so there you have it. I’m very thankful for a number of things today:

• Your encouragement and your support in the comments about my last post are appreciated more than you can know. I am so thankful for the insight some of you shared, for the additional scriptures you pointed me to, and the grace you all reminded me of! Tim said it best Thursday night, when I broke down over so much of it. Tim said, “B, we know the truth, and that’s all that matters!” Praise God it is!

• Our new lawnmower! The old one just kicked the bucket, so Tim spent Saturday researching online and visiting every Lowe’s, Home Depot, Sears, Sam’s in town. Thankfully we found the much desired mower (it had to have a Honda engine!?!?). It sounds like it runs like a top, but Tim cut the grass so I’ve not yet used it first-hand. Oh but I will. . . . I love cutting the grass!

• Belle finally completed her round of antibiotics. I never did post about the dogs escaping and Belle’s return home costing us $250 (or did I?). Her pink bandage has been removed, her stitches are gone, and her meds are completed! She’s back to her old self! YAY!

• The chance to watch Lawson play tee-ball Friday night. What a hoot! Imagine twenty four-year-olds all crammed in the infield of a baseball diamond. Some are throwing their glove in the air to see if they can catch it. One might decide he’s tired and lay down for a brief nap. Another little boy might decide he needs his Pop. Right. Now. (That was Lawson!) Imagine a pitiful mom realizing she’s not sure where her son is, only to find him in the wrong dugout. Dads and Moms alike are sprinkled throughout these kids encouraging them to hit the ball! catch the ball! throw it to first! and anything else imaginable. Only then have you begun to begin to imagine this fantastic, fun time!

• We also got to watch Lawson’s little sister, Bella, walk! She is sportin’ it all over the place! So cute!

• We have a new red door! Pictures to come, but it’s still under construction (Thanks, Tim!). We decided on Posh Red, and I just know it’s gonna be killer cute!!!

• A great dinner with Brian and Ellie Friday night while Jenn was working. Granted, Ellie refused to eat any of her squash from her Aunt B, but we got lots of giggles, smiles, coos and laughs! That little booger was wide eyed and bushy tailed when they left at 9! She heard she was headed to Lovie’s for a slumber party, I suppose.

*Please say a quick prayer for my friend, Jodi. She lost her Bible yesterday, and given the path she’s walked thus far in life, it was laden with notes, highlights, scripture references, and such. She’s so upset over losing it. But we’re hoping someone found it and will return it to the church’s lost and found.

*Why do people always have to enunciate intranet like this: in-TRA-net? Really? I mean why can’t we just say intranet like we say internet?

Wednesday's Walk ~ Third Day Concert

It's Wednesday! Wednesday's Walk! If you want to participate, jump on over to Lynnette's blog for details.

Friday night, Jodi and I, along with our little sisters went to the Third Day concert at our church. It. Was. Incredible. Awesome. Unbelievable. Revive opened the show with incredible music, amazing worship, and got us P-U-M-P-E-D up! Here is a picture of the lead singer in the middle of the audience! During a song!

Brandon Heath came next. Crazy cool he was. Also amazing. He was so real with us, telling us how his new song, Wait and See, was basically about his life growing up. He was great!

And then, oh, then the show began! Third Day rocked that church! It was so incredible!!! I really cannot begin to explain to you the emotions that I felt while worshipping my Savior during that concert. Jodi said it best, though. When we were leaving, she said, "I worshipped God harder tonight than I think I ever have before!" How exciting is that!

Check out the light show! Those are not real stained glass windows; they're lights!




The Encore ~ All of them on stage at the same time!!

It was also an amazing time to cherish: worshipping your Savior along side your sister, your best friend, and her precious little sister. Time well spent, and time I'll never forget!

Easter

I love Easter. Love it. It fills me with a sense of belonging I wish I had all the time. I seriously want to shout from the rooftops that My Savior Lives! I only have this beautiful picture for you today.

Also, check out Beth Moore's post. It's exceptional (no surprise there!!) and so awesome.

I hope you and your family have a blessed Easter!

Thursday’s Thoughts

* I heard on the news this morning that Facebook has a bigger population than Japan now! Over 200 million users are now on Facebook. Isn’t that crazy? I think so, but I do love me some Facebook!

* These two families really need our prayers. I am just heartbroken over the plight both families are experiencing. I simply cannot imagine hearing doctors tell me my 2 month old will not live without the ventilator, having to say my goodbyes to my precious baby, and then watch him / her live for days following the ventilator being taken away. Nor can I imagine being the parent of the baby who’s to receive that infant’s heart; it’ll save my baby’s life. Only the donor lives well past the hours the doctors anticipate. What agony. What heartbreak. Yes, they need our prayers.

* Easter is this coming Sunday, and on one of my favorite blogs, she’s listing something Jesus is to her each day and one of her favorite songs. I’ve loved reading Kelly’s blog, and this week has been no exception! I think I’ve mentioned before how much I love to sing. And that I cannot carry a tune in a bucket. I recently told Tim I want this song to be sung at my funeral (Lord willing, many many moons from now). Because I promise you when I get to Heaven, I’m going to be singing at the top of my lungs!

"How Can I Keep From Singing"

Chris Tomlin

There is an endless song

Echoes in my soul

I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come

I am holding on

To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise

How can I ever say enough

How amazing is Your love

How can I keep from shouting Your name

I know I am loved by the King

And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes

In the darkest night

For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You

Knowing You'll see me through

And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times

Sing when I win

I can sing when I lose my step

And fall down again

I can sing 'cause You pick me up

Sing 'cause You're there

I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord

When I call to You in prayer

I can sing with my last breath

Sing for I know

That I'll sing with the angels

And the saints around the throne

What is Jesus to you?

I hope you’ll celebrate that He is Risen this weekend!

Wednesday's Walk

I added this button to my blog weeks ago, but I've yet to be diligent enough to participate. One of my fellow bloggers, whose blog I now read faithfully, Lynnette, provides this button and invites participants to remember a special time gone by on Wednesdays.

So, since last night I gave my brief testimony at Sav a Life's Mommy and Me class, I thought I might put it here. It's a walk down a painful, sorrow-filled journey, but it leaves me with so much hope, such an awe in my God and what He's done for me and my family. That makes it a beautiful walk.

I called my momma on the way home from the class to tell her about it. She had sent me a text about 5 minutes before I talked, telling me she was praying for me and she loved me. Just what I needed from my momma! It's like I told Momma, I am still amazed that I can talk about it to friends and usually remain calm. But in talking in front of a group, I could feel a huge lump in my throat. I guess it'll always be that way. I've been praying that God would show me opportunities for me to share my testimony, and it was no accident when Lori from Sav a Life asked me to talk last night. How exciting for me to witness God do his 'thang!!!

So, here it is. My Wednesday's Walk. . .

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You know, it’s really something isn’t it? This life. . . . To think that God created us, for His glory. But yet, He never promises us a life free of pain and heartache. I grew up in a Christian home, had great Christian parents who loved my sister and me, loved each other, and loved the Lord beyond measure. I was saved when I was 9 years old, and I knew that I knew that I knew that I was a child of God!

My picture perfect life shattered on a Sunday afternoon, 2 weeks before I would turn 15. My Daddy had apparently received word that morning that his career was in jeopardy. He was the president of a bank in our hometown. That afternoon, while I was with my mom and sister running errands, my Dad took a shotgun across the street, into some woods, and ended his life.

The pain, the anguish, the heartache is still something I cannot put into words. Years later, I still cringe when I think of the anguish and pain I watched my family experience, when I think of the nights I cried myself to sleep. But I do know this: I have a Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally. I cannot begin to tell you how difficult those years were following my Daddy’s death. I dealt with depression, anxiety, panic, and fear. There were times that I honestly believed if I didn’t already know how painful it would be for my family, I would’ve ended my own life.

It wasn’t until years later that I slowly began to understand that my Heavenly Father was refining me, drawing me closer to Him so that I might have more compassion to those around me who are hurting and suffering. Having gone through such heartache, I know that my God was with me always. I learned to talk to Him and with Him as if he were right beside me. I learned to “crawl” up into his lap and cry, letting my Abba Father comfort me.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians: "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed....For our light affliction which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen." (Excerpts from the passage of 2 Corinthians 2:7-18, emphasis mine)

As painful as my Daddy’s death was, I know it was “but for a moment” compared to the Eternity my Heavenly Father has planned for me. And in spite of such heartache, God has richly blessed me throughout my life with wonderful memories as a child with both of my parents, a mother who showed exceptional grace and strength during the toughest of times, a husband who is definitely God’s best for me and better than I ever dreamed I could have, a sister who has given me the joys of being an aunt, friends who love me and encourage me every day, a job that’s as stable as can be expected in today’s economy, and a hope for a future in Him. The best gift of all? His son, who he sent to die on the cross for me and for you. To save us from our sins and give us life everlasting.

So remember, no matter the suffering and heartache you might experience, if it’s all for God’s glory, it’s worth it. He’s promised us He will never leave us nor forsake us. And, it's "but for a moment".

Thanking Him

If you don't read this precious girl's blog, you're missing an amazing treat! Today, Kelly Gives God Praise, and man alive did I need to read her uplifting post. Kelly has an incredible ministry through the blogosphere by sharing prayer requests with all of her readers. And, Kelly has a great testimony to boot! It helps, too, that she's always posting precious pictures of her little miracle, Harper, too!

So, I'm picking myself up out of this pit of stress, dusting this pity party off of me, and praising God for the many, many blessings He's given me.

* Beautiful spring weather that promises capris, tans, and sandals are in our near future.

* Health

* A job, even if the boss does tell me 40 minutes prior to this morning's presentation, "It's going to be a big audience, Bethany! Over 100 participants; no pressure!" Really? Seriously. No pressure? More like step into a big ole' pressure cooker!?!?

* An amazing friend who's understanding and forgives me when I blab too much.

* A husband who works his buns off day in and day out .

* That same husband loves me beyond measure.

* That I grew up in a home full of unconditional love.

* The hope I have of leaving a Godly legacy to Ellie, and future mini-McMens, and our future kids.

* The get-up-and-go the hubby has every morning to get us to the gym, home, showered and at work by 8:30.

* Amazing girls who share so much in Bible Study each Tuesday night as we grow together in Him.

* The precious little ones I get to love on every Wednesday night at church.

* How easy it is to cook for Tim. I say all the time he'd be perfectly happy with a piece of cardboard and melted cheese. Granted, I know when he pulls out the honey mustard, it's not a great meal, but that doesn't happen very often!

* This spring weather means our hammock is calling our names every afternoon to come for a short swing!

* You peeps who give me amazing encouragement and love day in and day out.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the many gifts you give me every single day!

I am. . . What about You?

Ally had this cool little game, and I am always game for blog games! Plus, I don’t really know what I want to write about these days. . . . So, here ya go!

I am…wishing I could convince myself to like oatmeal. YUCK!
I think…random things way too often.
I know…that I am loved beyond measure by my hubby!
I want…calmness and peace about career issues.
I have…way more than I deserve.
I wish…I was 10 pounds lighter. For good.
I hate…pride.
I miss…the good ole’ days in banking
I fear…that God’s plan might not be for me to carry children
I feel…restless.
I hear…lots of chatter.
I smell…my candle.
I regret...poor decisions from my past that have affected my precious husband
I love…my life!
I care…way too much what folks think about me
I always…am game for ice cream!
I am not…the smartest eater.
I believe…in God’s grace.
I dance…anytime I get the chance.
I sing…and love it, but I have not a pretty voice!
I write…and love it.
I win... little.
I lose…a lot.
I never…focus enough.
I listen…to everything I can!
I can usually be found…reading.
I’m scared of…Ellie’s heart being broken.
I read…as much as possible!
I forget…most of the plots of the books I read.
I just…finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird again.
I am happy about…my marriage and its future!

What about you?

Are you In?

We are! “In” means we’re participating in our church’s challenge to pray together as husband and wife for the 31 days of March. We got this encouraging email from our pastor this morning:

Dear Tim and Bethany,

I’m so glad you have joined Beverly and me in the commitment to hold hands and pray together with your mate for the 31 days of the month of March.

Are you still “in”? Even if you have missed a day or two—keep it up!

Ephesians 5:33 says: “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NLT).

What’s the key need of most wives? Love. What’s the key need of most husbands? Respect. As you pray together, ask the Lord to help you better meet your mate’s primary need. You might even risk asking your mate how you could better meet their primary need.

I’m praying with you and for you—for stronger marriages for the glory of God!

Your Pastor and Friend,

Tim

P.S. If you are seeing evidences of God at work as you pray, send me an email update!

For so many of us, times have been pretty stressful and tense lately. Jobs are hectic, and it is amazing to me how quickly and easily that pours over into our personal lives. So, I stood high on my soap box last week and told (my) Tim WE ARE IN! I know that My God will not forsake me or leave me. I know He will cover us with His love, His peace that passes all understanding, and He will provide for us, as we ask. For we are told to “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4: 4 – 6).

And I’m so excited to watch God work in our lives and in our marriage as we pray. Every day. Together. So, are you in?

Getting to know You!!

So, one of my newer reads suggested this fun little game. And, if you play along just right, you have the opportunity of increasing the number of readers you have. While I full realize that my blog might be as boring as watching paint dry, I love it. I've enjoyed getting back into writing with this little blog, and so I figure it can't hurt, might help! Give it a shot!

So, part of this little game included me telling Lynnette my top five favorite blogs to visit. Of course, I included Melissa because her artistic talent just intrigues me, Kelly's Korner, which I found through Melissa. Kelly has been such a huge inspiration to so many women, and I just love reading about her miracle, Harper! Definitely had to include this amazing friend, just because she's so much fun, she lives to the fullest, and praises God through everything! I also listed The Heart Change Place and Leelou Blogs, both of which I just enjoy reading and checking out!

So, if you want to play along, jump on over to Lynnette's blog and check it out! You might want to grab some kleenex first, though. Lynnette definitely has a beautiful story to tell. She's such a woman of triumph in Christ who really does know how to dance barefoot.

How’d I get so Lucky?

I’m the wife of:
A handyman
The workout encourager
My best friend
My number one fan
My prayer partner
A thinker
One heck of a painter
A grilling machine
Belle’s favorite human
My running partner
A focused, determined business man
An Eagle Scout
A planner
God’s best for me


I’m the daughter of
A man who died too soon, too young, too abruptly, and without goodbye
A teacher who’s taught many-a-kids their multiplication tables
The queen of teaching the proper use of may and can. “I don’t know, can you?”
Lovie
A jokester
A banker
Two Christian people who loved each other beyond measure
A 3rd grade teacher
A woman who’s walked a tough road with dignity and grace
The best roast ‘n potatoes maker in the world

I’m the sister of
A brown eyed girl who once had chocolate on her chin
A petite little spit fire
An X-ray tech
An amazing new mother
The most loyal woman around
A beautiful girl inside and out
The mother of an incredibly beautiful little girl who's brightened up our family beyond description

I’m the friend of:
A super-mom who I admire so much
Godly women who inspire me, teach me, and encourage me
Attorneys
Stay-at-home mothers
Amazing fighters
Funny people
Exercise junkies
Fellow shoppers
Chatty Cathys
Women who battle their weight along with me
Artists
Recovering addicts who amaze me every day!
Bankers
Caring, considerate people

I realized this on the way to work this morning. It does take all kinds to make the world go round. How blessed I am to be a part of so many lives. God's been so good to me, and I'm so thankful to Him! And to you for being who you are in my life!

Another Blogosphere Game!

Okay, so I’ve told you that I’ve recently gotten really into this blogosphere world, and I’m loving it! I’m participating in an interview, which SoMi recently participated in. Here are the rules:

1. I must refer you to SoMi’s post where I got this idea

2. If you want to participate, leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” (And your e-mail address, please.)
3. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions!
4. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
5. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
6. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So, here were SoMi’s questions for me:

(1) Name only one blogger you really respect and tell me why. Just one? Gee whiz. . . . I respect all of y’all. I’ll tell you why I respect Jennifer. Sometimes the best friendships are ones that kind of happen in random ways, you know? I have gotten to know Jennifer through a mutual friend, and in recent years, Jennifer’s been crushed, her world’s been turned upside down, and she has been heart broken beyond explanation. The beautiful thing, though, is Jennifer is today, one of the most amazing Godly women I know. She has faced her battles with faith like a child, she has embraced the new life God’s given her with such gusto and enthusiasm! I’m one of many, many friends Jennifer has, and it’s so easy to be her friend because she’s so full of life, excitement, warmth, and grace. She’s the true epitome of a Christian Southern Lady, and I’m proud to call her my friend.

(2) If you had to pick a non-urban, U.S. destination in which to vacation for a week, where would you go?

White Salmon, Washington!

Tim’s aunt and uncle live there, and the pictures I’ve seen are beautiful! With a population of just over 2,200, this is definitely a non-urban destination!!!

(3) If you had $500 to spend on housing, food and entertainment for the trip mentioned in (2), how would you spend it? Since we’d stay with Cindy and George, I’d spend $500 on food for the fam and fun times from hiking Dog Mountain to touring wineries and anything inbetween!

(4) Tell me about one person with whom you've lost touch. If you hope for a reunion, how would you like that reunion to take place? It would have to be Kristin, a friend from high school. Actually, Kristin went to school with me in kindergarten, too, but moved to California. She returned for her senior year, and we were instantly close friends. We remained close through college, even living together for a few months. When I graduated and returned to Macon, Kristin and I were roommates in a guest house together. Let’s just say I ended up moving out, losing money and a friend. She moved for work, and we really haven’t spoken since. . . . then the wonderful world of Facebook intervened, and I found her mother (or did she find me?) and Kristin. We’ve chatted briefly via Facebook, and while I miss her friendship dearly, I know I always will. It seems as though she’s happy now, and that’s really all that matters. We both grew up and are different people, I suppose. . . . Ah, thus is life. Reunion? Doubtful. . . .

(5) In 2008, what was your biggest achievement and your biggest failure/disappointment? Would becoming an aunt be an achievement?!?! Probably not so much since I really did nothing except cheer on my sister through labor and dote on Ellie ever since! So, my biggest achievement of ‘08 would definitely be running my first half marathon. What an experience! I’m especially proud since I really have only been running for less than a year! 2008 was such a great year for me, being a newlywed, watching my sister and brother in law become parents. . . but the disappointments would be losing a dear friend to cancer and losing my Pepoppie to stroke. Amy was just too young, and Pepoppie’s illness was so brief that I’m not sure it’s hit me yet that he’s really gone. Life is so fragile.

So, there you have it, friends! Hit me up, and I'll send you questions so you can play along, too! Happy New Year! Stay safe!

Ellie's Arrival

Amazing.

Incredible.

Wonderful.

A Miracle.

Perfect.

Beautiful.

Meet Eleanor Grace McMenamy, who arrived yesterday, November 25, at 2:36 in the afternoon. . . 6 pounds, 19.25 inches long



The most amazing thing? She is more beautiful today. . .

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~ Psalm 139: 13-14