Life goes on.
We'd buried my Daddy the day before. On a cool, fall morning, we celebrated his life, mourned his untimely death and held onto each other like never before.
I remember waking that Thursday morning knowing my friends were going to school like normal, watching the county school bus make its way past our house like it always did, yet looking around at my mom, my sister and myself and wondering, "how in the world?"
Goodness. We didn't know what had hit us. But what I did know was life as I'd always known it was no longer. And as cruel as it seemed, life was going on all around us.
The hours seemed to pass as slowly as molasses. Days later, we mustered up everything inside of ourselves to celebrate my sister's 12th birthday. Weeks later, I turned 15. I remember my best friends sitting in the living room with me the night of my birthday. I think it was the first time I'd laughed since my Daddy died. And I felt so guilty for laughing. For smiling. For enjoying life.
And I realized, life goes on.
Months passed and we moved. I remember pulling out of the driveway of our home, the home we lived in with my Daddy, and sobbing. Crying my eyes out, knowing this move was necessary for our family. Things would be different, new, hopefully easier for all of us in a new home.
Yes, life goes on.
Years went by, and as we learned to live a new normal again as a family of three, we found happiness and love even in the midst of the unbearable grief and heartache. Jenn and I had proms, Homecomings, Sweet 16 Birthdays. Life went on.
And, I know today, 17 years later, that life goes on. And, better than that? It becomes beautiful again. Yes, truly "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11). That is what I've celebrated this week. God's provision is remarkable. His love is unconditional. His attention to detail is unbelieavable. And He does make ALL things beautiful.
I see it in this precious little girl's face....
And while I would give so much to have my Daddy here, for him to see his grandchildren, to meet his sons-in-law, to see my sister and I today, I am so very thankful for the lessons I've learned since my Daddy's death as life has gone on.
Most of all, I'm praising my Heavenly Father now for making ALL things beautiful, in His time.
16 comments:
Thank you for sharing that. You made me cry tears of sadness for the young girls who love and miss their daddy and tears of joy for the truth that God use all things for the good of those you love him. Bethany, you and your family are shining examples of God's beauty.
Wow, friend. I learned so much about you thru this post! Thank you for being willing to share such heartfelt emotions! Amanda
I know that was a tough one to write!! beautiful!
I lost my father 21 years ago this same week. Reading this reminded me of how far my own mom, sister and I have come since that devastating time. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of him in my daughter. Life really does go on.
Beautiful, sweet daughter of mine, simply beautiful! I love you, MOM
Well this was a touching post Bethany. Thanks for sharing. I know that feeling when we experience a loss and the whole world continues on, and seems oblivious to our pain! Like when your daddy died. Not fun!
Yes, Life Goes On...even when we are't feeling like we want it to. But eventually we are glad it does. There is so much to look forward to in life,...like your precious daughter's smile.
I have times when I miss my loved ones who have gone on before me so much, and I feel such sadness...but I know they would want us to go on living and loving. So it is what we must do.
God is so good to bring healing, and comfort...and peace, joy and happiness back into our lives.
Everyone who knows the Lord knows He comforts us so that we will know how to comfort others...and to encourage them.
I think this post is proof positive that there is joy after loss, pain and suffering.
I am so blessed to be your blog friend and to share in the joy that your life shows.
Love, Linda
Bethany, that was beautiful! Your dad would be so proud of you and Jennifer, your precious families and your beautiful mom! God's grace is amazing!
so hard... we are coming up on 3 years without Jason and I understand what you are saying. it those first few days, it was hard to imagine life going on as normal. thanks for sharing this with us :)
This post was written so beautifully, B. I' so thankful for the Lord and his love for us. He heals our brokenness and replaces sorrow with joy.
I know how much you loved your Dad and I know his memory will live on! Hugs to you, friend!
This was just such a beautifully written post and I could completely relate to every word of it. About how everyone else's lives go on, how time seems to stand still, yet God brings such beautiful things out of it. So, so true! Sending love to you today :)
What an amazing blog post! It's so touching. You know that you're carrying on your dad's legacy through Miss Molly, right? Really amazing!
That entry brought tears to my eyes. My Dad went home to be with the LORD 10 yrs ago. He outlived every male in his family, but it's never long enough when you say your goodbye in this life to someone you love. Still miss him. Life has certainly gone on & God's been so good to me. In those special moments I'm reminded that I would love to have him here to be a part of them. Thanks for your blog & the encouragement it brings. Grateful to know you!
Beautiful post. And praise God for redeeming so faithfully.
ahh, He does make all things beautiful...He is SO faithful! This brought me to tears. Beautifully written reminders here. Thank you. :-)
<3
I remember talking about this with you on my old blog. I can hear the growth you've gone through. Miss M certainly has healed some of that, as well as your husband and your life as a family. I'm so glad for you. Good to hear you moving through it and yet remembering it. Those were hard, hard days and huge scars. Praise the Lord, He works all things for good to those who are called by His name. Love ya, Jenn
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