Wednesday's Walk

I added this button to my blog weeks ago, but I've yet to be diligent enough to participate. One of my fellow bloggers, whose blog I now read faithfully, Lynnette, provides this button and invites participants to remember a special time gone by on Wednesdays.

So, since last night I gave my brief testimony at Sav a Life's Mommy and Me class, I thought I might put it here. It's a walk down a painful, sorrow-filled journey, but it leaves me with so much hope, such an awe in my God and what He's done for me and my family. That makes it a beautiful walk.

I called my momma on the way home from the class to tell her about it. She had sent me a text about 5 minutes before I talked, telling me she was praying for me and she loved me. Just what I needed from my momma! It's like I told Momma, I am still amazed that I can talk about it to friends and usually remain calm. But in talking in front of a group, I could feel a huge lump in my throat. I guess it'll always be that way. I've been praying that God would show me opportunities for me to share my testimony, and it was no accident when Lori from Sav a Life asked me to talk last night. How exciting for me to witness God do his 'thang!!!

So, here it is. My Wednesday's Walk. . .

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You know, it’s really something isn’t it? This life. . . . To think that God created us, for His glory. But yet, He never promises us a life free of pain and heartache. I grew up in a Christian home, had great Christian parents who loved my sister and me, loved each other, and loved the Lord beyond measure. I was saved when I was 9 years old, and I knew that I knew that I knew that I was a child of God!

My picture perfect life shattered on a Sunday afternoon, 2 weeks before I would turn 15. My Daddy had apparently received word that morning that his career was in jeopardy. He was the president of a bank in our hometown. That afternoon, while I was with my mom and sister running errands, my Dad took a shotgun across the street, into some woods, and ended his life.

The pain, the anguish, the heartache is still something I cannot put into words. Years later, I still cringe when I think of the anguish and pain I watched my family experience, when I think of the nights I cried myself to sleep. But I do know this: I have a Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally. I cannot begin to tell you how difficult those years were following my Daddy’s death. I dealt with depression, anxiety, panic, and fear. There were times that I honestly believed if I didn’t already know how painful it would be for my family, I would’ve ended my own life.

It wasn’t until years later that I slowly began to understand that my Heavenly Father was refining me, drawing me closer to Him so that I might have more compassion to those around me who are hurting and suffering. Having gone through such heartache, I know that my God was with me always. I learned to talk to Him and with Him as if he were right beside me. I learned to “crawl” up into his lap and cry, letting my Abba Father comfort me.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians: "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed....For our light affliction which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen." (Excerpts from the passage of 2 Corinthians 2:7-18, emphasis mine)

As painful as my Daddy’s death was, I know it was “but for a moment” compared to the Eternity my Heavenly Father has planned for me. And in spite of such heartache, God has richly blessed me throughout my life with wonderful memories as a child with both of my parents, a mother who showed exceptional grace and strength during the toughest of times, a husband who is definitely God’s best for me and better than I ever dreamed I could have, a sister who has given me the joys of being an aunt, friends who love me and encourage me every day, a job that’s as stable as can be expected in today’s economy, and a hope for a future in Him. The best gift of all? His son, who he sent to die on the cross for me and for you. To save us from our sins and give us life everlasting.

So remember, no matter the suffering and heartache you might experience, if it’s all for God’s glory, it’s worth it. He’s promised us He will never leave us nor forsake us. And, it's "but for a moment".