Seventeen years ago today, a hard truth about life hit me square in the face.
Life goes on.
We'd buried
my Daddy the day before. On a cool, fall morning, we celebrated his life, mourned his untimely death and held onto each other like never before.
I remember waking that Thursday morning knowing my friends were going to school like normal, watching the county school bus make its way past our house like it always did, yet looking around at my mom, my sister and myself and wondering, "how in the world?"
Goodness. We didn't know what had hit us. But what I did know was life as I'd always known it was no longer. And as cruel as it seemed, life was going on all around us.
The hours seemed to pass as slowly as molasses. Days later, we mustered up everything inside of ourselves to celebrate my sister's 12th birthday. Weeks later, I turned 15. I remember my best friends sitting in the living room with me the night of my birthday. I think it was the first time I'd laughed since my Daddy died. And I felt so guilty for laughing. For smiling. For enjoying life.
And I realized, life goes on.
Months passed and we moved. I remember pulling out of the driveway of our home, the home we lived in with my Daddy, and sobbing. Crying my eyes out, knowing this move was necessary for our family. Things would be different, new, hopefully easier for all of us in a new home.
Yes, life goes on.
Years went by, and as we learned to live a new normal again as a family of three, we found happiness and love even in the midst of the unbearable grief and heartache. Jenn and I had proms, Homecomings, Sweet 16 Birthdays. Life went on.
And, I know today, 17 years later, that life goes on. And, better than that? It becomes beautiful again. Yes, truly "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11). That is what I've celebrated this week. God's provision is remarkable. His love is unconditional. His attention to detail is unbelieavable. And He does make ALL things beautiful.
I see it in this precious little girl's face....
And while I would give so much to have my Daddy here, for him to see his grandchildren, to meet his sons-in-law, to see my sister and I today, I am so very thankful for the lessons I've learned since my Daddy's death as life has gone on.
Most of all, I'm praising my Heavenly Father now for making ALL things beautiful, in His time.