Dear SAHMs,
How do you do it? The thought of going to a single salary at our house has us both in a tizzy. And, mind you, I certainly am not bringing home the dough. But we have realized that losing my salary ~ were I to stay home with Miss Molly ~ is a BIG deal. A much bigger deal than I've ever felt my salary is around these parts.
So, back to the question at hand. Seriously, how do you do it? Now accepting any tips, thoughts, ideas and "this works for us" tidbits.
Sincerely,
A Wannabe
18 comments:
:) I had to get in the mind set that it didn't matter what we had to sacrifice. We don't have cable tv, we don't eat out much, I shop at Aldi and find great second hand clothes for the girls. We save before we buy. I get regular coffee when I go out with friends instead of a 4 dollar drink... it happens in small ways, small things we do to save money. And, God has honored it all. My girls look adorable in their clothes, we don't miss watching tv, we have fun meals at home. I feel blessed even though I know we may not have what others have. It was more important to me to be home with my kids. I knew that I couldn't make enough money that would pay for childcare and make it worth it to work.
Hope that helps. :) And, even if you still have to work a few days a week... it is ok. God will work out the stay at home thing in His time. He knows the desire of your heart!
I was blessed to be able to stay home with Ethan for the first 13 month of his life. After looking at the cost of daycare, we figured it would be better for me to be home with him while he was a baby instead of giving a huge chunk of my income for someone else to do it. We owned an advertising business at the time and it was doing well, so it wasn't going to hurt us too badly. I went to yard sales and consignment sales...it was EXTREMELY rare that I bought anything from a nice store. But baby clothes aren't worn for very long, so everything I bought at consignment looked brand new and it was all name brand stuff!
But then the economy took a bad turn and things changed drastically with our business, so when Ethan was just over a year old, I returned to work. Mostly because we needed the insurance. David eventually found a new job and everything has been great. I am so very thankful for the year I got to spend at home with Ethan, but I also realized that daycare isn't so bad if you find the right one. Ethan is at a private school and they have really taught him SO MUCH since he was 1. He is very social, very smart, and every teacher he has had so far has told me his verbal skills are amazing for his age (I like to think that is from all the reading I did to him when he was a baby!). I think we made the best decision for our family.
Everything will work out! If you really want to stay home, you may have to make some sacrifices, but it will be worth it! :o)
Gosh, this one's a tough one. I stopped working almost five years ago. At the time I was working, I had a managemnent job that was bringing in decent money. When all the paychecks finally stopped coming in, it was definitely a shock at first. Over time (and we're still working on getting better at this), we learned how to be a little wiser about how we spend our money. The biggest thing we found out through it all was that it can be done, just with lots of sacrifices. We don't get to go out and buy everything everyone else, but the Lord still provides.
What I would encourage you to do, is just pray about what the Lord will have you guys to do. If it's meant to be that you stay home, He will open up that door. I used to be so guilty of wondering why some moms who had the means could continue working after they had their babies, but then I came to realize that being a SAHM isn't for everyone.
Another thing I thought I'd mention is the fact that quitting your job means just not being able to spend as freely as you used to be able to do. Looking back on when I had a job, I actually wonder where all the money went. What do we have to show? Not much, really. Just went out to eat a lot and spent the money on a bunch of stuff we probably didn't need.
Anyhow...sorry for the rambling. I will say a prayer that you guys will be able to figure things out! :)
Bethany,
I'm not an official SAHM, since I still work part-time, but I can offer a few tips that we've used since losing 1/2 my salary. I've actually had fun and made it a challenge to save money. I've become a big coupon clipper, sing websites like southernsavers.com, coupons.com, and kroger.com to print or upload coupons to my plus card. We order diapers in bulk from diapers.com (free shipping and cheaper than the grocery store). My newest endeavor since Kate turned 6 months old is making our own bay food. I've always enjoyed cooking for Wes and me (that's another thig - we rarely eat out), and now I've found that making Kate's food is really easy and saves a ton of money. Just like the others said, you'd be surprised how much you can save with just the small sacrifices. I've found that instead of making me bitter or jealous, it brings us closer as a family and I feel a great sense of satisfaction when I am able to save. I've considered quitting all together to stay home with Kate full-time, which still may be an option, but for now, part-time has been a great thing for our family. I will pray for you and Tim as you make this tough decision!
I hear you, sister! We manage with one MILITARY salary, and let me tell you, that ain't a whole lot!
From the time we decided to have kids, I knew I wanted to be home with them. But I also knew I was a HUGE spender. Well, that had to stop in a hurry.
There are certainly sacrifices. For instance, I haven't bought any clothes for myself that didn't come from a discount store (usual Walmart) in 3 years. Same with things like makeup and hair products, and I had to say 'see ya' to the trips to the hair salon, too. Most all of the kids clothes come from consignment sales or Goodwill.
Our dining out budget includes one night of Mexican per week, but we drink water and pack sandwiches for the kids. I grocery shop at Walmart, and buy cheap - always planning meals around sales.
These are just some of the sacrifices that I am more than willing to make to stay home with my children. I'm with mine 24/7, and there are still little things I miss and/or forget along the way!
That being said, should you decide to go back to work, there are advantages to that, too.
Whatever y'all decide will be the right choice for your family and Miss Molly is going to know how loved she is - no matter what!
I've stayed home with Ethan since he was born, 2 1/2 years!! James works for the wellness center and I work some for my dad for a little bit of extra income to pay our bills with. We don't go out much, have cut our social life back alot, we don't go to the movies much or even rent them! We decided I would stay home (even though I never thought i would be able to stand it!) since a good day care would have taken pretty much my whole salary, and between James and I we work really funky hours. His parents have some health concerns and are not completely physically capable of long term care of a baby/child and my mom still works. So i stay home. sometimes we go without, and most of ethan's clothes come from target or old navy's stuff and save sales. i have to tell you though, with the exception of sometimes missing out on new clothes or feeling like i have nothing to wear, and sometimes wishing a date night was more than chick-fil-a, i have not missed much! sometimes i miss having a career, and once our children are in school I plan to find a career (though i'm not sure what it will be yet!), so i have that to look forward to, as well as the thought of eventually improving our financial status. It has really taught me a lot about living beyond myself, and realizing that what i want or think i need aren't even near as important as ethan's needs or our actual needs. Good luck and know that whatever decision you make will be the right one for you, Tim and Molly!
I never thought I'd be able to be a SAHM. Somehow, God blessed us so that I would be able to. There are lots of ways to save money, like everyone has mentioned. I know if you decide to make that choice, that God will provide!
I will be praying for you!
No tips here since I work FT. But if I had to imagine us being on my husband's income we'd have to do A LOT of budgeting and cutting out all non-essentials.
Pray a lot! I am like the other moms...you just learn to go without and be fine with it. I shop at 3 different grocery stores to get the best deal, I only buy stuff on sale, we save as much as we can, we hardly eat out. We don't have cable, and when you are a new mom, you are too tired to care! It will all work. Live right now like you only have one income and save yours. You can do it!!
THE LORD PROVIDES ALL OUR NEEDS! Beau & I trusted that no matter what the calculations came out to (logically) that the Lord would do His "divine thing" and provide all we needed...and He has!
What great advice you have gotten from the ladies here. I stayed home with my kids when they were little but it was mainly because day care for twins was more than I was making so the decision was easy. I have three girls and they have done all three scenarios, work full time, work 1/2 time and stay home. Sacrifices and benefits all the way around.
God will provide and if you are seeking Him, he will bless your decision.
Don't fret to much, you'll know.
It is amazing the things God shows you that you have that you really don't need (cars, cell phones, clothes, etc.) I thank God for the amazing blessing of being with my boys everyday b/c it goes by so fast. God will show you.
I stayed home with my kids when they were small and it was an adjustment, at first. But, above ALL else if the Lord has given you the desire to be at home, He will also give you the provision to do so. You never know what can happen between now and then :) God works and provides is MANY ways. Praying for your clarity and peace! Blessings
Is Molly her official name or are you just nick-naming here?! :) Sorry, I pop in here and there and miss things along the way, so had to ask!!
There was a lot of great advice already given above!
Logically speaking: There have been several studies done over the years that show the cost to go to work - daycare, gas, car maintenance, work clothes & accessories, dry cleaning, eating lunches out here and there, etc. actually don't work out to much in the "bring home" pay. Now if your mom or someone is watching your daughter at no cost (or possibly reduced cost,) that would obviously make a huge difference in that variable.
I had fully intended to go back to work when I had my first. My job was amazing and they were willing to be flexible with my schedule, etc. But after I gave birth...I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't imagine dropping her off and not being a part of her life for 8+ hrs a day. I was so thankful that my husband understood and completely supported that.
Many have already said it, but just SEEK GOD in this. He will bring peace for His path.
Much love to you girl!
I'm glad you guys are prayerfully (and practically:) considering this option. I obviously have no idea what it's like to be a SAHM, but when I quit my job and was trying to live on $400/month when I was doing mission work, it was incredible to see how the Lord provided. I learned not to go to the mall or even Target very much; it's surprising how much less I wanted and subsequently bought when I wasn't shopping. And friends and family members were generous and understanding when I wanted to cut back on gift giving or eating out, for example.
I'm excited for you and Tim!
I'm glad you posted this because I am in a similar position of trying to figure out what to do about work vs. staying at home. I feel terrible about the idea of quitting my job, but I also would feel terrible about not doing what's best for Gavin if that's what it takes. I'll pray for you & Tim about this decision too! God bless!
Hi, I came over from Kate's Called out One blog.
It's not easy, but then again we never relied on any salary from me. My husband is a preacher though and so he's not paid a whole lot anyway. It takes a lot of sacrifices and a lot of prayer and Trust in the Lord.
Anyway, first time over here - love the blog! Hello!
Hi Bethany. I was coming over for a visit and saw this post from January. I don't know if you have your comments emailed to you - and I expect you probably won't see this if you don't - but hey, I'll put it here anyway. :)
Did you ever read my book? I only ask because I wrote this story in my book.
Well, when I decided to stay home with Jared (I was still pregnant with him), Kyle was making less than I was and I was only making $6.60 an hour. That was 20 years ago, but still a VERY small income. We had no idea how we were going to do it. We had not idea how we would pay rent, etc. but we felt Go wanted me to stay home, so we just decided to do it and let God take care of us.
The first thing he did was provide a home (a beautiful one on 7 acres!) for $100 a month! We weren't even looking for it, he just gave it to us through a common friend (our pastor).
There were times that were a little rough (still are at times), but it's worth every bit of planning, budgeting, going without, etc. You won't regret staying home - I promise!
So, there's my little how to story - just let God do it for you! :)
Love ya.
Lynnette
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