Random Letters

Dear Neighbor,

Let’s make a deal, k? We live on a short, dead end street. Flying up the road as fast as your Jeep Cherokee will go is pointless. How about you drive as safely and slowly as we, your neighbors, drive when your child’s in the middle of the road on his battery operated hummer. Deal? Okay. Thanks.

Dear Tan,

Man alive do I miss you. I just cannot wait for you to come back to me. Spring is around the corner, so bring it on, bronze!

Dear 10 pounds,

I most certainly do not recall inviting you back into my body. My thighs are plenty big without you. My stomach is, in fact, flabby without you. Honestly, I don’t like you. I despise you. I want you gone! And, you know what, 10 pounds, I declare war!

Dear Cold Sassy Tree,

I am really enjoying you; you’re a great book! But, I must admit it’s not easy to read your super-southern dialect. And I’m as southern as a girl can be! But I am sticking with you until I complete you; I hear you’re really good!

Dear Proud Parent,

I loved being with your precious son last night at church. It’s evident that his newest trick is saying, “Whoa!” very much like Joey from the old show Blossom. It was precious! Even though his nose was running like a fire hydrant. Whoa!